Tuesday

For awhile, as you know, I have been wondering why I keep trying to split my time between the different churches I attend. It is very hard, both schedule-wise and gospel-wise. Some things are completely contradictorily, some are just different. I can leave both churches frustrated on any Sunday because of these differences. It's so hard! In one I can say, "That's not true" or in the other say, "That is just your opinion, not GOSPEL." I believe the propensity to get that confused is so great. And, at the end of the day I am trying to please God, not any organization. I used to thirst after the deeper stuff--but now I just want to live the simple things--really live them. And, that is harder than I would like to believe. I have been counseling some teenagers about honesty. We can chat on and on about that one thing for weeks! God says, "Thou shall not lie..." how deep was that command! So many "Lie" in so less than obvious ways--denial, refusing to find truth, excusing things that have no excuse, and ignoring the obvious saying they just can't see it. To me, those are lies. Maybe not to others--but to me they are. People can only be as honest to others as they can be honest with themselves, and certainly many people keep themselves in ignorance to avoid it all-together. But as it says in the scriptures, "they did not sin ignorantly, for they knew the will." When we desire something, it is easy to lie. It is easy to coax a result that is not in-line with what is truly inspired, or right, or righteous and this is what I spend so much time thinking about. Not so much deep incongruities like "how do we know"---but, "what do we know"--and what are we going to do about it.

More than you want to hear from me this morning--but where I am.