My birthday

Yesterday was my birthday! I have been literally counting the days until my birthday....as I just love love birthdays....and so wished for a new memory (the last few have been characterized by making dinner for my X-laws, having a near coma-educing fever literally, and being depressed beyond anything just to be the me I am). Dodi helped me have a great birthday in 2005, but that was three years ago...and I felt long over-due for one to remember (as last year, my illness made my memory of the day pretty sketchy. I heard I had cake? I really don't remember cake! Was it good?)

Monday was a snow-day, so I had a great great day playing with all 5 of the kids ('my' kids, not be confused with my work kids, lol!). And that night, Joe and I went to dinner to celebrate. It was amazing! AMAZING. Romantic (wow, Joe, you can really do the romance thing!) and so fun, and really nothing I would ever have put together for myself! I had my hair done especially for the night on a whim (an hour in a stylist's chair...how do celebrities do this all the time?) and wore my happy sweater (my most favoritest!) and we had seafood ("See? FOOD!") and I felt pretty, and special, and loved and wow that's every girls dream for their birthday, no matter if they are turning 15 or 25 or 45 (note to family in the future!). It was truly an amazing night. Joe was a champ at encouraging me to blab away (a stretch? Likely not!) and when I was distracted *talking about me*, he slipped onto the table my birthday gift. It was a ring box, from Kaya's (a shout-out to the BEST jewelry store in Portsmouth!) and I was instantly all glowie (head-ache to follow, eh Hank?). He sheepishly told me it was 'nothing momentous'....maybe wanting me to know in some way it was not, what?? THAT ring? "No, no. THANK YOU." I said. It was just fine being what it was...and I really didn't even expect anything in a box anyway. So I got my 'very Dani' purple amethyst ring, which fits nearly perfectly on my right ring finger (if I were to take it off in summer, however, they would have to cut it off me for swelling) and is so so pretty. I really can't point to anything that was not perfect about my 'birthday night'....it was definitely one of the best of all time!


Which brings me to yesterday...my official birthday, day. Another snow-day Wednesday should have been a great sign for a great day! I was awake at 5:30, and really so motivated and feeling so great! Having Joe here in the morning, humming along to the sounds of his readying for the day was such a treat (it's the little things that touch our hearts the most!) and all morning I could feel that energy that says, "it's a special day.' I ended up working for one of my daycare families who were in a pinch....my good deed for December...but they were quite sweet and came with a fresh plate of brownies and a lovely card. Drew and I shoveled snow together in the morning, and Jonah and I together around Noon. I was super motivated, and got tons of wrapping done, laundry through, and had fun listening and watching the boys play with little C while S slept. All was well for the entire day...however, but 2 I began feeling very very tired--run-down even, and I wasn't sure why. Still, G called me to tell me they were coming over at 4 to have birthday dinner with me and that made me giddy all over again. I felt that sure feeling that indeed, this birthday would erase all those feelings about being so sick last year--all that drama with hospitals and bills and nightmares--and I watched the clock. Tick, Tick, Tick....I started to feel chilled...Tick, Tick, Tick, I began to feel that flush of fever....Tick, Tick, Tick....my head began to heat-over. I was getting sick. I went to the bathroom to take my temperature right before the family arrived...it was only 100.0 but still, the disappointment rushed over me. Was I going to be sick, two birthdays in a row? Was this the beginning of high fevers and chills and nightmares all over? With Joe and G and A streaming through the door, my last bit of happy slipped away. I on the best smile I could and tried and tried to just stay positive. Tylenol....more Tylenol. Maybe I won't even tell them, I thought. But then, minutes passed and I felt more and more chilled and tired and blah and I just had to break the news....we had to skip the restaurant. We had to skip the happy giddy birthday.

So, the long of it was that Joe cooked dinner from my fridge of this and that, and I sat with a blanket around me watching them eat. After a time, and MORE Tylenol I was able to muster strength to have cake with them, and they quickly departed...and I took to my bed. Sleep at a bit before 8pm felt good....and sad at the same time. Still, I am not THAT sick, even this morning--planning to work today, and salvage the feeling that I have love out there for me--which I know I do.

Thank you everyone! I am so glad to be here, and to have you all! I love you.